First of all, this post isn't that interesting, it doesn't have some meaningful epiphany at the end, and it most definitely isn't funny. So if your not that interested, and your expectations are high, I'd stop reading now. (In fact I would encourage you to stop reading now)
For those brave enough to continue.. here we go.
Today is monday. Tomorrow is tuesday. And I fly out wednesday. So naturally, my thought process went as followed: Today is Monday, I am leaving on wednesday, meaning I had all of Tuesday to say my final goodbyes, pack, and enjoy my last day home. Hah. Wrong.
Tonight, at about 8:30pm, I discovered that I wasn't in fact scheduled to leave in two days, but that I was scheduled to fly out tomorrow. After a bit of a panic, I got myself together and was grateful that I had discovered 22 hours before the flight, and not tomorrow morning when I usually check my email. My sister helped as we dumped all of my stuff in the living room and I spent the rest of my night trying to fit all the stuff I had accumulated into my suitcases.
So finding out tonight that I was leaving tomorrow wasn't a big deal. I was excited to go back to Canada and everything had been worked out on the Canadian end (they had the right dates). I had all my stuff ready to go and all that needed to be done was the actual placing in the suitcase. I'm fast at that, so really it wasn't a big deal. Honestly, It was more funny then anything. I couldn't stop laughing the whole night. But after the quick panic and the sudden switch into "pack as fast as you can" mode and the good laugh, I realized that I was leaving. And that hit me hard.
It's weird that you can spend the last few weeks of your time at home excited to go back, and then your last few hours in tears because it's over.
I've been thinking a lot about the idea of home lately, which is really the point of this blog post (your probably thinking..yes.. she finally got there). Being Canadian but living in Japan, the question "where do you call home" comes up more than enough times. As a TCK we go through countless boring seminars about where are home is and how are home is in Christ (very true though, I'm not dyning it). But I mean, no offense to those seminar people, it's kind of nice to know I have a physical house too. So I've always answered the question with "I consider both my home. I feel at home in both places, I love both places, and to me, they are both and always will be home." (pretty simple right)
However, two homes can sometimes, especially in situations such as now, be frustrating. Life would technically be a lot easier if I had stayed in Canada all my life. My family would only be a drive away. I would understand the country of Canada better and not feel hopeless when elections come around. I would be a lot better driver (hopefully). I could call or text my family during the day because they aren't sound asleep. My family would be able to see and visit the life that I have begun in Canada. And I wouldn't have to be restricted to seeing my family once a year because of the cost of a flight. It sucks. That's really all I have to say about it. Sometimes, it's not fun.
But being the optimist that I am.. I hardly ever let myself think like that. So here are couple of the multitudes of benefits I have come up with.
I get the experience of flying. I love traveling... and I get to travel all the time.
I have experienced different cultures and nationalities in a way that most people don't ever have the opportunity too.
I have the ability to somewhat understand and speak another language. (even if a conversation with a 3 years is about as good as it gets.)
I get to know people who are all over the world. Not all of my friends are all in one place, which kinda sucks, but we're thinking positive right now.. so I won't go there.
I eat things that I probably never would have considered if I had grown up in North America. Things such as seaweed, octopus on a stick, and delicious things like that.
When Asian tourists come to Canada, I understand why they wear face masks around their mouth and towels around their neck. Otherwise I would be absolutely confused and weirded out.
I have learn to become more independent because my family isn't just a drive away. I'm not saying that those people would be less independent then me. But because I am so close with my family, if they had lived close, I don't think I would have been able to do the things I was able to do this year. I have grown so much being away. So in this case, them living far away has been a benefit.
I could go on, but most importantly-
My family has the privilege of serving God in an incredible country, with incredible people, and incredible beauty. (incredible)
When I get frustrated that I have to be split and torn, I remind myself that God has blessed me with two homes, and the ability to cope with that. I would grow up in Japan a hundred times over again, and for that, I am thankful.
So, as I say goodbye to my family here, and my home in Japan, I will get on a plane knowing that as I'm leaving home, I'm coming home. And that is a rare bliss.
